Blogger Speaks Up, Out, and Over

The Council of Trent gathers to decide whether to bless the John Edwards tawdry saga's Other Woman 's plan to buy a house in the Edwards neighborhood so that the out-of-wedlock baby, cute as a pumpkin, can "be close to its father and get to know its half siblings; as well the Council will decide whether to endorse the Other Woman's demand that Edwards pay for the house and provide yard and pool service or mow the lawn and clean the pool himself.

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I am glad you set me straight on Jude Law.

I suspected he might be a good father because he and Sadie had a custody battle over the children. I suspect both of them ran around on each other bigtime, which triggered a divorce. Sadie looks like she can hold her own in the adultery department. Good for Sadie. Equal opportunity adultery is part of feminists' core agenda.

That I am ignorant of Law's fathering habits comes from my not having the time to keep up with the gossip columns. I read the National Inquirer in Winn Dixie and prefer it to Spinoza, oddly missing from the counter magazine rack, but the Inquirer is so information intensive that I can cover no more than five pages before it's my time for check out.

My gossip obsession is with the John Edwards saga. The mother of the out-of-wedlock baby that the North Carolina shit fathered on the campaign trail and then shoveled campaign funds to its mother in order to keep her quiet while convincing a married aide to claim he was father to save the Edwards campaign is now house hunting in the Edwards' NC neighborhood so that the baby--as cute as a button--"can enjoy the influence of her father and become friends with her half brother and half sisters."

This Other Woman is not slouch as a stratovarian, and more power to her is my analysis.

Cancer-ridden Elizabeth, of course, has gone bonkers at this adroit move by the Other Woman. She called her up and told her that she hopes she dies and slammed down the phone. The Other Woman's girlfriends told the National Inquirer that the Other Woman was "stunned and dismayed" at Elizabeth's "harshness." Oh, yeah.

When I try to talk to my husband about the latest about the Edwards case that I bring home from Publix's check-out lending library, he holds up his hand and says, "Please don't start on that damn Edwards story again. I can't take much more."

If I were young, I would train for a job as reporter at the National Inquirer. I can't imagine a zippier job. I believe an undergraduate philosophy major with an emphasis on ethics would be the ticket.

When Law heard that his former girlfriend was pregnant, he did not, as the Ubiquitous Jerks Brotherhood inevitably do, demand a DNA reading from the tot's umbilical cord in the delivery room. Law should, of course, require a DNA test to provide support.

But I am glad to hear how good a father he is. For this relief, much thanks. Who said that and in what play? lee