Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Antigrammargrinch Surfaces Again

Linda, you now have established contact with a persistent fan who lives in my shadow: Le Antigrammargrinch.

The boy is at Florida State, l I think, can't get a date, and pesters grannies on the Web to fill his time. He should relocate to Chattahoochee.

We must be patient with the young. Those of Antigrammargrinch's age remain in the throes of hormone upsurges.

Antigrammargrinch tries to suggest that I am senile, a worn-out ageist insult that he could update had he the imagination to do so. The silly fellow knows that I could clean his clock on any IQ test on the planet even with half my synapses burnt out from their many years of service in the War of the Worlds.

Be nice to Antigrammargrinch. As soon as he works through his Granny fetish, I believe he may use his not inconsiderable intelligence to do something useful.
Meanwhile, Antigrammargrinch needs to move up to something a little more complicated in the English language than mangled homophones if he is going to joust on grammar's grown-ups' turf: syntax:

Antigrammargrinch expresses himself thusly:"... if she can't master simple English language concepts and is clearly illiterate." This locution should read "...if she can't master simple English (hyphenate for two words acting as a single adjective before a noun) language concepts, she is clearly illiterate."

I didn't quell smartasses who lounged in the back of my class room twenty-eight years for nothing. Master Antigrammargrinch is a piece of cake for the kid here after my passing with flying colors Smartasses 101 in those pedagogical years semester after semester.

You have to get sharper, Antigrammargrinch, to challenge me. Begin by reading the first book of Curme and move thence to the second. Curme reigns the God of English grammar and syntax, and you can't joust in these precincts until you have acquainted yourself with his writings.

Love and kisses,

Lee Drury De Cesare/ Granny Lee

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