Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Need a Job? Listen Up.



Work in the Noble Field of Education in Hillsborough County, Florida,

Where the Emphasis Is on Excellence in Crony Hiring

Those interested in serving in the glorious occupation of administrative Pooh-bahs in education for the Hillsborough County School Board, heed ye the following:

1. Primary qualification: being a buddy, a supporter, a gofer, a sycophant, an ass-kisser or—let’s get down to street-level verisimilitude—a shameless brown-noser to Ms. Elia, superintendent, or chums with one of La Elia’s tax-paid sycophants now in the highest-level administrative jobs, not because of either education or grey matter but because they are nonstop flatterers of Ms. Elia;

2. Education requirement: don’t sweat it if you have the above sine qua non; in that magic circle, if you dropped out in the 8th grade or even if you were kicked out for smoking pot in the john in the 9th, those will not present impediment if you are buddy, relative, or toady to the ROSSAC highest level Gestapo stormtrooper, Ms. Elia.

In fact, if you got kicked out in junior high for a felony, your being close kin to Linda Kipley or Jack Davis will get you a slot in the Highest of Highest with a guaranteed beginning salary of at least $140,000 per annum and opulent perquisites, not to mention a life-time supply courtesy of taxpayers of an endless quantity of bubble gum and Cracker Jacks.

3. If you can make your subjects and verbs agree and have the slightest knowledge of where to put commas, give up now or disguise these skills. Those accomplishments will turn the superintendent off to your getting the job since La Elia has no idea about such useless information as the accoutrements of literacy in the education racket. She is savvy only about The Spring, which will up the student numbers on which depend her "performance" bonus.

4. If you happen to have married Ms. Linda Kipley and are therefore entitled to the proud soubriquet of Mr. Linda Kipley, you will roll over all competition, even those with Ph.D.s from Harvard in philosophy and nuclear science with minors in intergalactic Frisbee.

Send your application to Mr. Linda Kipley at his temporary official address of the Tampa Hilton Honeymoon Suite while he awaits his permanent digs: a new penthouse floor attached to the ROSSAC Palace, in which he and his spouse dispute who gets the poshest part, where a skylight spreads across the movie and pool room to admit the planetary bodies not to mention all the output of the pigeon poopers who have proprietary dibs on the atmosphere over ROSSAC.

Call for more information: 810-Mr. Linda Kipley. Or leave your application in a pumpkin on the northeast side of the parking lot, whose mouth slot contain the tear-off slogan “Property of Mr. Linda Kipley, now on a glide track to the superintendency, at which point he will shuck his old wife, La Linda, for a new model from amongst the hordes of young women school-board stenos with a favorable hip-to-waist ratio who appeal to guys who dump the faithful wife who has maneuvered their success in the education racket into high gear in Hillsborough County, Florida.


5 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is hilarious, but too true.

Anonymous said...

I bet Kipley's husband got on the payroll so he will have health benefits. Linda Kipley is rumored to be retiring, so she will give up health benefits, so they probably cooked this plan up so she would be covered by the school district plan.

Anonymous said...

Lee

I would like to tell the story of my evaluation, my attempt to get my grievance to it heard and the so called investigation of another complaint done by Professional Standards.

May I do this on your blog?

I feel my reputation has been smeared and my career put in jeopardy because of one person's personal animosity toward me.

I am prepared for the criticism that may be directed at me by your readers. I have made my share of mistakes.

I feel I have been treated unfairly and no one will listen. The CTA has limited power. I have discovered that they can only concern itself with specific violations of the contract, that selective documentation of a teachers performance done only to call into question his professional skills is permitted. Outright false statements can be allowed to stand. Blatant errors of interpretation of the evaluation criteria cant be challenged, even though they make it appear as though I am inconsistent in my treatment of minorities. I deeply resent that implication.

I asked my principal for feedback, she promised to give it but failed do so. I believe this was deliberate. She accepted my lesson plans for 12 weeks and despite my specific request for feedback on them said nothing until she used them to hammer me on the evaluation. She did however mark my down for turning several of them in a day late. The whole process was a set up from day one.

I am frustrated and discouraged. I feel my employer of 14 years has let me down.

The school district has closed ranks around one of its own and I have been left out to dry. I am 100% certain that I will get the same treatment next year. Another poor evaluation and I will probably lose my job. I have had excellent evaluations from my previous supervisors. My last evaluation was 127 points and I qualified for MAP money. This year it was 97 points. Nothing about my performance changed. The only thing that changed was my supervisors decision to force me out because she doesn't like me.

I have tried to go through the proper channels to seek redress but have been stymied at every turn. I want my good name back. I will no longer hide anonymously behind my keyboard. I feel I am right and am no longer afraid.

Thomas Vaughan

Anonymous said...

You won't get your good name back, b/c Elia, Kipley, and most of the top administrators are evil. They care only about covering their asses and surviving the system. They could care less who they throw under the bus in their effort to stay on top. I hope they love their jobs, because at the end of their career they have to look at themselves in the mirror. They are probably too far gone in their attitudes to even care that they are staring back at evil.

Vox Populi said...

Do NOT be afraid, Mr. Vaughan, that WORKS for them.
Stand up and be counted.

Lee, this is the funniest thing I have ever read since your last blog post along these lines.

Feelia-eLIA.

WHEN will we name an airport after her????

When will we read her memoirs?

WHEN will she complete a degree?