THE SMOKING GUN

Trysting Teachers Caught In Act


Ms. Linda Kipley, ill-equipped honcho of the Professional Standards Torture Chamber:

One infers you sped to Coleman Middle School to review government submissions' detailing the event of classroom fornication viewed by curious students through a peephole.

Fornication was a lapse in professional standards to be sure. So you would be on the case in a millesecond with your constant sniffing of the wind to discover even miniscule slip-ups teachers may stumble into. You don't ever see any administrative sins against professional standards--even those right under your nose, one notes; but you seek out or manufacture breaches' requiring punishment for teachers.

Look what you did with feeble rationale to torture teachers. You eked from the fugitive dimensions for misconduct the instance of teacher Shawree Miller's taking children to see a university with parental permission. You treated Miller's taking the children on an educational trip as a violation of district professional standards' deserving your whole range of Abu Gharib torture tactics for the hapless Miller. You colluded with a Captain-Queeg principal who wouldn't have teacher Pat Barton's classroom cleaned until parents complained, and then you participated in cooking up charges against Barton with Principal Queeg in some kind of Freudian retaliation scheme. Your own conduct is not merely unprofessional. It is vile. It is inhumane. Principal Queeg awaits diagnosis.

There exists no administrative detailed statement that defines and illustrates instances of professional- standards violation. You make them up as your inflamed imagination dictates or as Ms. Elia fancies the chance to flex her new administrative muscle to scarify a media specialist like Bart Birdsall to accomodate County Library head Joe Stines's grudge against Birdsall for his sending Stines critical emails from Birdsall's home computer. Even the Board attorney told you that was Birdsall's First-Amendment right, but you went through the charade of trying to scare him to death anyway.

Your ultimate scare tactic is the threat of firing. This is the threat that cows people into silence even when your mistreatment of them becomes outrageous. You told Barton that she was not to tell anyone about what was going on in your little torture chamber for teachers. Have you never thought that even teachers have free-speech rights?

All it would take to close you down, ma'am, is for half dozen teachers to get fed up and march into a Board meeting and report their disgrutlement with your behavior, abetted by the adminstration to keep people quiet. The elected Board could not afford to ignore them. The public loves teachers. It does not love administrators. It does not love School Boards.

With your eternal vigilance, why did you let slip past your manic scrutiny in birddogging of the Coleman incident a school document containing the following solecisms that appeared on The Smoking Gun on the World Wide Web?

“…Ms. Bowen stated that prior to Ms. Sepulveda [sic] calling…”

There should be an apostrophe after “Sepulveda” for possessive before the gerund.

“…that Ms. Sepulveda also seemed stressed out, [sic] because…”

There should be no comma after “out”: the trailing adverbial clause is restrictive.

“Upon inquiry, he stated that there was nothing going on between he [sic] and Ms. Sepulveda.”

Egads! This "between he and Ms. Sepulveda" sounds like Dogpatch. The “he” should be “him”: pronoun object of the preposition should be objective case.

A home economics degree is not adequate preparation for your job. It's adequate preparation to make flapjacks, but it is not adequate preparation for the skills a professional-standards director needs. We see this lack on the World Wide Web this morning as yet another illustration why you should not be the head of Professional Standards with a bloated $120,000 salary. You don’t know basic grammar and punctuation and let such howlers as the above find their way into The Smoking Gun to disgrace the school administration of Hillsborough County.

The School Board shares the disgrace as well. It should because it allows--with no advertising of the position in accordance with the Board's "equal-opportunity" spin--you, an incompetent, home-ec candidate, to appropriate a job that needs sophisticated literacy skills and psychological skills as a minimum. The Board rubberstamped your professional-standards job without competition. It approved the administration buddy-hiring system. So the Board is complicit.

You lack the education and judgment for the head job in Professional Standards. Many candidates would have had in abundance skills requiredc not to let an illiterate document mar the HIllsborough County school district's image on the Web had the Board insisted that the job be advertised coincident with the Board's Title VII equal-opportunity promise.

Resign from a job which you got with no advertising in defiance of Title VII. Resign because you don't have the literacy level to spot whopping grammar-punctuation errors in school-generated reports that pop up on The Smoking Gun and in other venues that confirm the illiteracy of the school administrative staff. Resign also because you torture teachers for bagatelles but let Dr. Lover Boy Hamilton get away with posting illiterate, vulgar emails on the school email system.

But before you exit, find out if some of those curious Coleman students could transfer for physical ed credit to do peeping duty in the ROSSAC building, the locus of the famed Casting-Room-Couch according to rampant gossip. We voters want some of those alert youngsters to peer into ROSSAC windows, especially the paper-covered-windows.

Give the youngsters credit in PE for this valuable service that exceeds the skills of the administrative terrified enablers who people the nooks and crannies of ROSSAC and never peep into door-access little windows.

lee drury de cesare

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Editor, Le Bastone, Smoking Gun:

One sees you have the major posting on Coleman Middle School teacher sex on your web site today. I lived in the area. In fact, my four children and one of my granddaughters attended Coleman.

Primitive sexism continues apace with Smoking Gun's posting a picture of the female and beautiful Spanish teacher but not the male. In contrast, the coach lurks without his mug shot plastered on the web: faceless in double-standard shadows. His participation, however peripheral, in sports gives the fellow an extra layer of macho-gladiator-guy protection from you reverent, pencil-pushing, computer-pecking New York City peckerheads.

Hovering in the penumbra of this sexist omission are ancient slanders about female sexual insatiability that feed prejudices of women as Jezebels, Occasions to Sin, Floozies, Temptresses, Hussies, etc. These scapegoating insults have metastasized in male imaginations since Yahweh and the primal patriarchal brotherhood framed Eve in the Garden of Eden and exonerated feckless Adam. Men have been projecting their sexual guilt onto women ever since.

Male sexual anxiety is everywhere. Until I complained, there remained on the books in Tampa an ordinance that made it a crime for a man to walk on the public streets "with a known prostitute." No ordinance existed for the men who cause prostitution to be a growth industry. That's because the prostitutes made them do it, and the enforcement of the ordinance would have emptied the streets of male traffic.

Becket pushes the envelop and even says in Waiting for Godot that men are "born astride the grave." This extreme male fear of female sexuality's engulfing power over men explains coaches' superstition behind their injunction that football players can't have sex the night before the big game.

That's a lovely tapestry of misogyny you've manufactured from your sexual ambivalence and insecurities, fellows, especially so since this despised half of the human race includes your mother, your sisters, and even your dear old Aunt Bea, the avatar of the best apple pie on the planet and the fluffiest biscuits.

The unspoken assumption of your posting a picture of the woman but not the man in the present instance continues the venerable and despicable libel that the woman made the guy do it.

So The Smoking Gun and its "'cool,' frat-boy editorial staff perpetuate this moss-grown canard by mounting a Web color picture of the woman while the man finds photographic refuge in the treehouse of male blame-the-girls-for-illicit-sex-they're-all-hookers-at-bottom racket that has gone on since the beginning of time.

Shame on you gutless sexist twits in the Smoking Gun Male Sweat Lodge on 3rd Avenue in reputedly sexually sophisticated NYC for scapegoating women the same way men scapegoat them in this outback in which I live. May cow dung be rained on your prematurely balding heads and may you become Cialis- dependent before your 30th birthdays. And may the sexually lethal Aunt Bea--that lascivious old Jezebel-- have made you your last fluffy biscuit.

Viagra and Cialis--the perpetual-erectile-dysfunction nostrums--have become women's Thank-you-Jesus-and-Pfizer-for-making-the-chickens-come-home-to-roost by TV-ad-outing of the sexual angst that pulls the rugs from under insecure misogynists such as you feeble macho specimens at The Smoking Gun. Na, na, na, my buckoes. The greedy drug companies have blown your baby-baby-don-t-get-hooked-on-me cover, and all us women--including even the silliest girls-- know it.

It remains only for us post-erectile-dysfunction-culture Valkyries to do the mopping-up operations, of which pray consider as one this email from a member of The Sisterhood. This is one of the jobs of which equality of the sexes requires completion. We women are always the clean-up half of the human race--the half that washes the dishes, cleans the toilets, and slops the hogs but, thank you, Goddess Girls of the empyrean, doesn't depend on Viagra for sexual animation.

That you boys deficient in male chivalry are are also deficient in commas comes as no surprise. I see women do graphics for The Smoking Gun, but none exists elsewhere in The Smoking Gun Sweat Lodge to fix the punctuation.

See your mess-ups below. Such illiteracy on the World Wide Web ranks worse in my book than classroom pedagogic sex’s providing peeping opportunities for Coleman teenagers at their curious time of life about this fascinating subject for them. My only regret is that there are no such peeping teenagers on the prowl in the administrative ROSSAC redoubt in downtown Tampa. Persistent gossip makes me infer the youngsters would find ample opportunities to observe casting-room-couch primal scenes and other titillating scenarios in the administrative breastwork of lies and cover-ups.

Needless to say, your mug shots should get prompt posting on your site for this sin against womankind, not to mention the punctuation errors.

See me in my office after class, all of you Smoking Gun acne-ridden poseurs. Bring your grammar and your ethics primers and a penitent demeanor.

lee drury de cesare (Ms)15316 Gulf Boulevard 802Madeira Beach, FL 33708
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The Smoking Gun brings you exclusive documents--cool, confidential, quirky--that can't be found elsewhere on the Web. Using material obtained from government and law enforcement sources, via Freedom of Information requests, and from court files nationwide, we guarantee everything here is 100% authentic.

The commas are both redundant, Smoking-Gun scholars manqué. Your commas cut off restrictive adverbial prepositional phrases.

The site was founded in April 1997. In December 2000, The Smoking Gun was acquired by Court TV, a basic cable network with more than 80 million subscribers.

The passive verbs reveal that The Smoking Gun provides tree-house locker room retreat to a bunch of insecure frat-boy wussies who as we speak are reading up on the pharmacopoeia of Viagra juvenile-strength performance enhancers. Eve and her progeny have insisted that the boys lay hold of these aides for the sexual comfort of womankind.

Is there any reason besides ignorance that the Smoking Gun swashbucklers manqué don't italicize TV shows?

Staff:

Editor: William Bastone

Managing Editor: Andrew Goldberg

Reporter: Joseph Jesselli

Design: Barbara Glauber & Beverly Joel / Heavy Meta

Technical assistance: Mike Essl

Los Angeles correspondent: Samuel Bretzfield

Development Director: Daniel Green

E-mail: editor@thesmokinggun.com

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